I Was About to Change My Name to Charlie Brown

Do you ever have one of those weeks where everything goes wrong? And it goes so horribly, stupendously, hilariously, wrong that you start to expect Alan Funt (or Ashton Kutcher for those of you in the younger generation) to step out and tell you to "Smile, you're on Candid Camera!"? When everything just goes kerflooey until the only option you have is to just laugh about it? Or when just at the last second something goes right?

I have.

We ended up not going to the folklife festival after all. Because it rained. A lot. They moved the festival inside an old gymnasium, but after the week I had I didn't really relish ferrying the kids to and fro the car in the pouring down rain only to jostle among wet, steamy, folk inside the gym.

Plus, I had to do my grocery shopping twice on Saturday. I think I've mentioned here before that I hate grocery shopping with the heat of a thousand white hot suns. (As I was typing
"shopping" my fingers typed "whipping." Enough said.) One of the biggest conundrums I've had since we moved is where to do my grocery shopping. There is not a store nearby. The closest grocery store is about 17 miles away -- which is not far, but farther than I'm used to driving -- and the nearest Wal-Mart is about 23 miles away. I hate the fact that I shop at Wal-Mart, but I do. I like being able to get my grocery and non-grocery items in one place. And, their prices are cheaper.

The past two weekends I drove the 23 miles to Wal-Mart, but on Saturday I thought I would stay a little closer to home and head to the Bi-Lo in the neighboring town. It's closer and with gas prices being what they are, I figured I'd give it a try.

So, I bee bop into the Bi-Lo and do my grocery shopping. It takes me over an hour because it's a new store and I have to figure out where in the heck stuff is. I finally get my cart up to the front and the girl rings up my groceries.

Now I have to give you a little back story here. Last Friday I lost my debit card. I canceled it first thing Saturday morning after a quick search of all the places I thought it might be and re-ordered another one which will arrive in 5-10 business days.

So, Saturday morning, debit card-less, I whipped out the trusty (and somewhat rusty checkbook) to pay for the groceries. The cashier runs it through their system...DENIED!

"I'm sorry ma'am. I can't take this check."

"What? Why?"

"I don't know ma'am. I'm just supposed to give you this card."

And then my head exploded. Although I managed to keep my cool and did not actually use any cuss words inside the grocery store, I was just about as mad as I've ever been. I asked to speak to the manager who called Certegy, the check verification system they use. The Certegy rep told me that because I had no check writing history with their company, they couldn't accept my check. That it had the appearance of fraud. Have.You.Ever?

Mr. Daddy derived great pleasure from firing off an email to Bi-Lo Corporate headquarters telling them about how we will now remain loyal Wal-Mart customers and will never darken their doorstep again.

I could go on and on about other stuff that went wrong (not the least of which was the fact that Bubba threw up all over himself on the way home from church), but even I am getting tired of hearing myself complain. So I'll tell you about the good that happened today, finally.

The sun came out, just a teensy little bit. The kids and I, tired of being trapped in our oasis of red mud, took a walk down the road. We live in a very rural area now and there is little to no traffic on our road. We walked down the middle of the road if we felt like it. We stopped and looked at the creek at the bottom of the hill. I picked some wild growing Confederate jasmine while the kids picked wildflowers.

And then tonight Mr. Daddy made a cake. With chocolate icing.