Thursday, April 17, 2008

She's Got Dirty Laundry

Okay, first of all, I can't tell you how relieved I am that so many of you understood my reluctance to share my broccolamoley with Punkin. When I wrote it, I thought "Gah, that sounds so...selfish." So I threw in the part about the carpet to assuage my conscience and to hopefully keep from looking like a selfish troll in the eyes of my readers.

BUT, truth be told, I wasn't really all that worried about the carpet. I just didn't want to share. I mean, good grief, I share every single other thing all day long with my kids. I can't even go to the bathroom by myself. Is it too much to ask that I get to eat a little guacamole in peace? Especially when Punkin has already had her dinner?

They say confession is good for the soul. And in light of the Pope's visit to America, I am about to confess some other things I do as a parent that I'm slightly ashamed of.

Sometimes, before bedtime, I hide Punkin's Angelina Ballerina book. I just CANNOT read "Angelina in the Wings" one.more.time. When she asks for it at night I just say, "Punkin, I don't have that book. Let's pick another one for tonight." After a break of a day or two, I can happily read it for seven nights in a row.

Punkin still takes a higgie (or pacifier to most of you) to bed. I know Burgh Baby's Mom is going to give me grief, but Anglophile Football Fanatic is sure to come to my defense. It helps Punkin sleep. It gives her comfort. And I'm pretty sure she's not going to take it to college. Or even pre-school for that matter, so I don't worry about it. Much.

I don't bathe my kids every day. They get baths every other day. And rarely, every two days, though I'm sure that will change once the sweaty summer months arrive.

When Punkin was younger, I didn't brush her teeth every day. Brushing her teeth was like trying to trap a wild badger and brush it's teeth. A tooth brushing session usually ended with Punkin flat on her back on the bed, her arms pinned above her head, lips squeenched shut with me trying to pry the toothbrush between her lips. It just wasn't worth the effort some days. Now that she's older I do brush her teeth daily and the situation is better. A little.

Sometimes I give Bubba the option of staying up a little later and skipping the bedtime story, knowing that he'll choose that option, just because I'm too tired to read a story.

When we get home in the evenings, I let the kids watch television while I cook dinner. Once the mud is completely gone and we have grass that we can play on, I promise I'll make them go outside. But right now, television is just easier.

That's all my dirty parental laundry. Or at least that's all I can think of right now. I'm sure there are more. Please make me feel better by leaving at least one piece of your dirty laundry in the comments. And if you're perfect, well, I just don't want to know about it.

16 comments:

AndreAnna said...

Unless she is playing in the dirt outside or has gotten sweaty, we only bathe C every other night as well. She had eczema as a baby and we couldn't bathe her everyday. I see no need to start now, unless she starts rolling in her own poo.

And as you know, she still has her bippy too.

AND sometimes I put Dora on just so I can have five minutes to myself without being pulled on.

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

Dude. I'm perfect. NOTHING crazy ever goes on around my house. Pshaw!

Alexis gets three baths per week. I mean, if she looks like she's been rolling in a pig pen, we'll hook her up, but normally she only gets three. It's not like she has any hair that can get gunk in it or something.

You should know that my aversion to pacifiers is deeply rooted in the behavior of my nieces and nephews. One of my nieces walks around with one all.the.time and she's three. She carefully selects which one she is going to "wear" each day based on her clothes. She HAS to match. I say that's a good sign that it's time for the paci to take a hike. And then there's my nephew who speaks with a lisp and has to go to speech therapy because he still has his at 4. I truly believe there is a magic moment where if you take it away, you're all good. If you don't, you're screwed for years.

Lauren said...

This morning I made pancakes and when they ask for seconds i said there weren't any so that I could actually have some for breakfast too. And oh my gosh they were delish! Way worth the guilt.

Leslie said...

Well, you know that Little Brother had his passy until he was nearly 3. We went cold turkey over a long weekend, but he still occasionally asks for it (we tell him it's gone gone). I totally understand the comfort factor. I buy Birdie and Little Brother Happy Meals at least once a week when I'm too tired to cook dinner. I also let them eat in front of the TV more than I should. But, it's just me home in the evenings and sometimes I just can't cope with the fussing. Don't feel guilty.

All Adither said...

Oh, you're too hard on yourself. This laundry looks pretty sparkling clean to me. You're a good mommy.

ImpostorMom said...

man if that's what your DIRTY laundry looks like I'd say you're doing pretty damn good. :P

I didn't say it the other day but I totally get the not sharing thing. Boog is worse than the dogs sometimes about begging.

I hide the loud toys in the closet and I don't bathe Boog everyday either. Boog brushes his own teeth each night and we are supposed to go in there and make sure they actually get brushed but I forget most days plus it's sort of like wrestling an alligator.

Boog always watches Signing Time while I cook. I tell myself it's educational so it doesn't count. :)

The pacifier thing bugs me when I see kids out that are clearly too old for it but if she's only using it at night I'd say it's not that big a deal. Trust me there are certainly times I wish Boog would take one.

secrethandshake said...

I don't even take a shower every day. And sometimes (lots of times) I'm too lazy to take the dogs for a walk, so I just get them really excited by telling them we're going to the park. They get so wound up, they tire themselves out by running around and wrestling each other. I feel guilty admitting that.

anglophilefootballfanatic said...

I'll defend paci use to my dying day. I've also noticed with the hubby away this week, I've been asked about it when I put the kid down...he thinks I'm easier to pushover I gather. :)

Isn't confession via Benedict XVI nice?

Mine watches insane amounts of tv. He still doesn't brush his teeth daily. I often "just step out" when I see the caller ID is my MIL...this is parenting at its worst as I'm like, "Let's go play outside RIGHT NOW."

Sass E-mum said...

You mean this is somewhere that I can confess to letting Ellie watch TV? Woohoo.

I feel lighter already.

Lulu said...

Up until Gus was like in the 2nd or 3rd grade, I made him sleep in the clothes that he was going to wear the next day, just so I wouldn't have to fuss with him to get ready in the mornings. Worked like a charm---just pulled him out of bed and put him in the car with a granola bar. Ooh - now that's dirty laundry.

lookingforlifeshumor said...

Dangerous confessions... how delicious! I think I must confess to all of those as well. And nice to see so many of your friends admitting to them too!!! Yipee!!!! We're all NORMAL!!!!!

Fannie Mae said...

I used to hide "The Country Bunny". Have you seen that f*&%er? It's like thirty pages long!

1blueshi1 said...

Good Lord, woman--ONE thing? my entire parenting lexicon can probably be summed up as dirty laundry!
at least they can stun their future therapist with their vocabulary....(sigh)

Amanda said...

Perfect? Far from it, my friend.

Baths in my house are twice a week MAX!

London has consumed chocolate before meals on more than one occasion.

Kirby goes to bed with a psuedo-bottle/sippy cup even though I used to work for a dentist therefore I KNOW better!

It's not unusual to find us all in our jammies at 3 o'clock in the afternoon.

When I have snuck a piece of chocolate and London asks me what I'm eating, I tell her "broccoli".

London is almost four and she still co-sleeps.

Kirby does NOT co-sleep but I want him to.

There's more but I think this will make a good post over on my blog. Thanks for the idea! :)

Amanda said...

Oh, and I just have to say, I think Lulu is a GENIUS!

Colleen said...

My kids get baths about twice a week unless they stink (and they can...they both sweat like whores in church...like their mama...*sigh*). Obviously if waranted, I bathe them more often (like when Gavin would come home with half the sandbox in his butt-crack).
I freely admit that the TV is my babysitter. It's how I get a load of laundry folded or get my shower if I'm home alone with the kids or how I hear myself think when I think I might scream if I hear whining or "mommy" for the 12-hundredth time in 5 minutes.
I hate playing outside unless it's in the pool because I don't like itchy grass or itchy bugs or well, being outside. So I'm looking forward to the warmer weather and our pool opening in about 4 weeks.
I've told Gavin that Thomas or McQueen or whatever licensed character toy he's looking for is "on vacation" just so that I can get out of looking for it at bedtime.
I've had days where I was glad to drop my kids off at daycare because they were being so cranky...figured at least those folks were getting paid to put up with it.
If I wasn't pregnant at the time, Gavin might still have a bedtime binky. He's only been without it for just over a year. I was afraid he'd steal the baby's binky if I didn't break him of it.
I say things that encourage potty mouth, like "baby butt" or "itchy butt-crack" (and that's not counting when I'm cranky and expletives get grumbled under my breath).
I still haven't taken Gavin to an actual dentist...and he's going on four. I probably should just do that before I see the pediatrician again in June because I know she'll ask (since she was the one who told me to go in the first place last June).
I'm a screamer. I come from a LONG line of screamers. My kids get screamed at...much more than I like (well, not really Cooper yet, but I can see the potential...he's a stinker already). It's the thing I feel most guilty about.
Feel better? :)