Sunday, April 6, 2008

I Was About to Change My Name to Charlie Brown

Do you ever have one of those weeks where everything goes wrong? And it goes so horribly, stupendously, hilariously, wrong that you start to expect Alan Funt (or Ashton Kutcher for those of you in the younger generation) to step out and tell you to "Smile, you're on Candid Camera!"? When everything just goes kerflooey until the only option you have is to just laugh about it? Or when just at the last second something goes right?

I have.

We ended up not going to the folklife festival after all. Because it rained. A lot. They moved the festival inside an old gymnasium, but after the week I had I didn't really relish ferrying the kids to and fro the car in the pouring down rain only to jostle among wet, steamy, folk inside the gym.

Plus, I had to do my grocery shopping twice on Saturday. I think I've mentioned here before that I hate grocery shopping with the heat of a thousand white hot suns. (As I was typing
"shopping" my fingers typed "whipping." Enough said.) One of the biggest conundrums I've had since we moved is where to do my grocery shopping. There is not a store nearby. The closest grocery store is about 17 miles away -- which is not far, but farther than I'm used to driving -- and the nearest Wal-Mart is about 23 miles away. I hate the fact that I shop at Wal-Mart, but I do. I like being able to get my grocery and non-grocery items in one place. And, their prices are cheaper.

The past two weekends I drove the 23 miles to Wal-Mart, but on Saturday I thought I would stay a little closer to home and head to the Bi-Lo in the neighboring town. It's closer and with gas prices being what they are, I figured I'd give it a try.

So, I bee bop into the Bi-Lo and do my grocery shopping. It takes me over an hour because it's a new store and I have to figure out where in the heck stuff is. I finally get my cart up to the front and the girl rings up my groceries.

Now I have to give you a little back story here. Last Friday I lost my debit card. I canceled it first thing Saturday morning after a quick search of all the places I thought it might be and re-ordered another one which will arrive in 5-10 business days.

So, Saturday morning, debit card-less, I whipped out the trusty (and somewhat rusty checkbook) to pay for the groceries. The cashier runs it through their system...DENIED!

"I'm sorry ma'am. I can't take this check."

"What? Why?"

"I don't know ma'am. I'm just supposed to give you this card."

And then my head exploded. Although I managed to keep my cool and did not actually use any cuss words inside the grocery store, I was just about as mad as I've ever been. I asked to speak to the manager who called Certegy, the check verification system they use. The Certegy rep told me that because I had no check writing history with their company, they couldn't accept my check. That it had the appearance of fraud. Have.You.Ever?

Mr. Daddy derived great pleasure from firing off an email to Bi-Lo Corporate headquarters telling them about how we will now remain loyal Wal-Mart customers and will never darken their doorstep again.

I could go on and on about other stuff that went wrong (not the least of which was the fact that Bubba threw up all over himself on the way home from church), but even I am getting tired of hearing myself complain. So I'll tell you about the good that happened today, finally.

The sun came out, just a teensy little bit. The kids and I, tired of being trapped in our oasis of red mud, took a walk down the road. We live in a very rural area now and there is little to no traffic on our road. We walked down the middle of the road if we felt like it. We stopped and looked at the creek at the bottom of the hill. I picked some wild growing Confederate jasmine while the kids picked wildflowers.

And then tonight Mr. Daddy made a cake. With chocolate icing.


Lauren said...

OH MY GOSH i would have you know what-ed a BRICK! Girl you have had a rough week...and no funnel cake to make it better on saturday. (tho im guessing mr. daddy's cake was probably way better...)

Im glad you had some sunshine at the end of it all though...

1blueshi1 said...

What a crap week for you, honey. Go read my post and at least you did not walk into a big bash with your dress tucked into your girdlicious Spanx underwear.
On the other hand, there is always next week!

All Adither said...

That is a long-ass way to go for groceries. Am feeling sorry for you right now. But then, you probably live somewhere rural and don't have a thousand eyes all bearing down on you while you sit in your house and read blogs. I exaggerate, but still.

Tootsie Farklepants said...

The cake makes up for the massive kerflooey-ness.

And just how are you supposed to get a history of writing checks if you're never allowed to write one? That's rhetorical.

ImpostorMom said...

maybe that's a sign that things are turning around. This week will be better.

I totally don't get the BiLo thing, how are ever supposed to get a check writing history.

I used to shop at Walmart but then i found a cockroach crawling around in my cart. My cart full of FOOD. I had to leave right then and there and have never bought more than a frozen pizza there since. I do miss the convenience however and I'm sure the little passenger had hitched a ride from outside but I just can't get over it. Now, I'm typically a Kroger with a side of Target kinda girl.

That Girl said...

A mr. Daddy that makes cake? That must've put a band-aid on the boo boo. I hope it was chocolate.
Give my Wal-mart some love! They're the 6th highest charitable contributors in the U.S.! My only beef with them is that they're kind of like the commisary in the military - cheap, but no frills. It keeps me on budget.
Here's to a better weekend Madam...

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

My EXCUSE for going to Wal-Mart is that it's only two miles from my house. If I had to drive 23 miles, there is no way I would ever set foot in that massive pit of scary human beings. When Darwin spoke of survival of the fittest, I think he was predicting that all the Wal-Marts of the world would go crashing down killing everyone inside some day. Hopefully I'm feeling smart on the day it happens and aren't inside.

I'm going to go out on a limb and bet the check was for more than $50. You have to write a whole bunch of little ones in order to write a "big" one. It's very, very stupid.

I hope your week gets better, and that somebody somewhere takes pity on your sad grocery situation and opens up a shiny new SuperTarget just a few miles from your house!

Laurel said...

You need a vacation! If I were you, I would have eaten the entire cake after a week like that. So sorry!

Anonymous said...

lets just try to forget this weekend ever happened 'k?

Karen said...

I'm so sorry that you've had the worst week ever. I hate when bad things compound. And Bi-Lo? Just another reason I hate them and am glad they went out of business here. I shop at Wal-Mart all the time. Of course, it's the only place in town TO shop...

Colleen said...

I'm with ya, girl! I am tired of complaining, too! But at least you have a Mr. Daddy willing to make chocolate cake...that makes everything a bit better!
Me? I'm happy if Justin gets his dirty socks into the hamper without me nagging him... :)

Colleen said...

oh, and 23 miles to Walmart? Man, you must REALLY be out there! :) I've got a grocery store 1-mile on either side of me...and I'm sure you saw that post I had about the 3 targets within 5 miles of my house...
I"m with BBM...hope you get a Supertarget your way soon!