Monday, September 22, 2008

On A Bender

I've come to the conclusion that dealing with toddlers and very early preschoolers is very much like dealing with your drunk best friend. I came to this realization the other evening as I was helping Punkin put her pajamas on. She was doing the opposite of everything I said and trying to get her to focus on the task at hand was trying at best. I started thinking about it and the following are ways that toddlers/preschoolers are like drunks:

1. Prone to unexplained fits of crying.

2. Crying jags often followed by fits of hysterical giggles.

3. May remove all clothing with little to no provocation.

4. Likely to hang all over you while you're trying to help them get their clothes on, impeding all progress.

5. Insist that you go the bathroom with them. One hundred times a night.

6. May wet themselves.

7. Might throw up on you.

8. Gets more adamant that they can do it the more you try to help them (no matter what it is that they're trying to do.)

9. Will recount hilarious (to them!) story that is basically incomprehensible to the rest of us (often the plot of the latest Dora/Wow Wow Wubzy/Scooby Doo episode).

And finally,

10. They piss the ever loving crap out of you with their behavior, but you can't help but love them anyway.

19 comments:

AndreAnna said...

This is hysterical!! I had to put it on my shared list. LOL

Fannie Mae said...

OMG! So sad and so TRUE!

All Adither said...

Awesome post! I may have to Kirsty you.

All Adither said...

Ha, I mean Kirtsy you.

for a different kind of girl said...

This was so, so hysterical. I think I may have to find a 12 Step for my kids soon!

ImpostorMom said...

so true, so true. and hysterical as well.

Robyn said...

Amen!

Never thought of it that way. I'm going to have to grab a drink next time I'm changing Bear -- no one likes a lonely drunk.

Shelly Overlook said...

OMG, this is so freaking true! & hilarious!!!

calicobebop said...

Genius! Sheer genius! You are so right, I related to every single one of those items. Hilarious!

Burgh Baby said...

So freakin' true.

Tranny Head said...

BWAHAHAHA.

The only one I'd add is "prone to tripping over their own feet."

Jonny's Mommy said...

Oh this so sounds like my toddler right now! Never thought to compare him to a drunken friend, but wow...you are totally right.

Meg said...

GENIUS! I've dealt with the drunks more than the toddlers, but you are absolutely right.

Katie in MA said...

Brilliant! And so well timed. :) I would like to humbly suggest another item for your list: will climb into bed with anyone for comfort. I had to remove Bee from Gracie's bed five times last night! In the middle of the night! Good thing Gracie doesn't scare easily; I would have screamed!

anglophilefootballfanatic.com said...

You are totally on to something, hon. I'm serious. It's true. All of it.

Colleen said...

I think you totally got it 100%. That's been my week...

Debbie said...

I never thought of it that way but now I can't help but agree. And it is funny!

texasholly said...

OMG. So true! My favorite one is about going to the bathroom together a million times. So funny.

THANKS FOR LINKING TODAY!

Reluctant Housewife said...

That is so funny and SO true.