Thursday, October 16, 2008

What'd He Say?

So, everybody in my house has been felled by a mystery virus -- fever, congestion, headache. So far it hasn't reached anybody's stomach, thank God. (by the way, do you know how hard it is to type with one hand while knocking on every wood surface in the vicinity with the other?)

Mr. Daddy has been home two days with it. Bubba came home from school mid-day yesterday with it. And Punkin was hit right when we got home last evening.

Do you know what's happening this weekend? My birthday. And do you know what I foresee? That either (a) everyone will still be sick on Saturday and we will be unable to attend the birthday dinner my mother has planned for me or (b) everyone else will be well but I will have caught the bug by then and we will STILL be unable to attend my birthday dinner.

So. In order to attempt to ignore the slightly nagging pain in the left quadrant of my head and in an effort to try to outsmart Murphy, we're going to talk about something completely frivolous: Mis-heard lyrics.

On the way to work this morning, I heard one of my favorite mis-heard songs, "Der Kommisar" by After the Fire. I've written about this before, but when he was small, my cousin Michael mis-heard "Don't turn around, uh oh. Der Kommisar's in town, uh oh" as "Don't turn around, uh oh. Hold that sausage down, uh oh." Whenever I hear that song I can't help but sing the revised lyrics. And you'd be surprised how often you can slip "hold that sausage down" into conversation.

My husband's family has several mis-heard favorites and oddly several of them are from Police songs. Well, not police songs, but songs by the band Police. I can't tell you one of them without giving away our last name, but one is from "Every Breath You Take." When Sting sings "How my poor heart aches," Mr. Daddy and his brothers heard "I'm a pool hall ace." Yeah.

One of my most notorious mistakes is from the song "Jump" by Van Halen. When David Lee Roth sings "I've got my back against the record machine, I ain't the worst that you've seen," I heard "I've got my back against the wrecking machine, I eat the words that you've seen." I know. I doesn't make any sense and I knew that. But it was only recently that I heard what he's really saying. Mr. Daddy still likes to give me grief on this one. And I'm like really? You hear "pool hall ace" and you're giving me grief about this?

Have you famously (or infamously) mis-heard any lyrics? Share! I promise I won't make fun of you. Much.


AndreAnna said...

Until like three years ago, I thought Whitesnake's lyrics were "Like a twister I was born to walk alone" instead of 'Like a drifter'

I mean, twisters DO walk alone. LOL

calicobebop said...

I used to think that the lyrics to "You make me feel like a natural woman" went "You make me feel like a man sure of a woman." Which, when you think about it, must be a nice feeling to have - right?

Also, there's the old CCR stand by: "There's a bad moon on the rise" is often confused with "There's a bathroom on the right." hee hee. I like that one.

el-e-e said...

My friend and I once created a website about this. In the early days of the Interwebs ('97 or so). It was called "Jamboozle" and I'm so embarrassed with did that now!

But my famous one is from "Grease," the song "Your the One that I Want." *I* thought for the longest time that the first line was,

"I got SHOES... they're multipyin'..."

(no kidding. I couldn't figure out why his shoes were multiplying.)

el-e-e said...

..embarrassed WE did that now. Not 'with.'

el-e-e said...

Oh, god! "You're" the one that I want!! My typos are multiplyin'!! GEEZ!

AmyM said...


When I was in college (early 80s) there was a song that had the line "only the lonely can play" but I heard it "only the lonely get laid." When my sister heard me singing it, she pointed out "If they're lonely, they're not getting laid!"

She has no room to talk because for years she thought "Secret Agent Man" was "Secret Asian Man." Can you see Weird Al Yankovich doing the video with Jackie Chan? Too funny!

Fannie said...

Heh, my college boyfriend thought Steve Miller's Jet Airliner lyric "big ol jet airliner" was "big hotel with the lights on". Thank God I didn't marry him. Sheesh.

Laurel said...

Did you know you were the first person to wish me a happy birthday today? The FIRST! I can't believe you remembered. Thank you. And your birthday??? I hope it isn't spoiled by the bug. But if it is, just delay it; insist you get the special treatment next weekend. You deserve it!

I love these song lyrics mishaps. So funny. I'd love to add some of my own; I know there are a lot of them, but sadly, I'm still probably singing the wrong words, so how would I know?

Anonymous said...

Take Vitamin C. Take Vitamin C. Take lots of Vitamin C. Ok?

I got my friend a book of misheard lyrics years ago and I still think of "There's a bathroom on the right" every time "There's a Bad Moon on the rise" comes on.

Esme said...

For years, I was certain that Jimmy Hendrix was singing "Excuse me while I kiss this guy..."


Katie in MA said...

These are so fun!!

There was a rock/alternative song by Reacharound that was popular back when I was in college that mentioned "...siting in the bleachers, dying again..." Except he really says "Big Chair." Because it's the name of the song and all. My sister loves that one.

And then, there's Brown-Eyed Girl, which is my theme song for very many reasons. In high school, one of my nicknames was Roderigo (for no reason whatsoever). So I always started the song with "Hey, Roderigo..." instead of "Hey why don't we go..." I KNEW it wasn't right, but I liked it.

Katie in MA said...

Oooh - and I used to think Steve Miller Band's lyric was "I'm a midnight talker," not "toker." Ahh. I miss my young and innocent self.

Susie said...

Sometimes the misheard lyrics are better than the real ones. One of my faves is Squeeze - "Pulling Mussels From A Shell" as pulling muscles for Michelle.

And I think your idea that we are all "cycling" together is the best explanation yet for the blogging lull.

Queen Mother said...

Madame Queen misheard early (and often?) When she was little I heard her sing a line from Ahab the Arab. The correct version is "him and Fateema was caught by surprise and the Sultan had fire flashing out of his eyes."
What her very young ears had heard was "him and Fateema was caught by some briars..." The memory makes me smile even now....

for a different kind of girl said...

On the spot, I can't think of lyrics I've misheard other than the whole Jump one you mentioned. I also thought it was 'wrecking machine' for the longest time!

I hope everyone feels better, and you are spared. I'll knock on wood for you, too!

Jonny's Mommy said...

Very funny.

Seriously...I've done this so often and of course this morning I can't think of even one!

I hope you all feel better soon and that your birthday goes off OK.

Being sick any day, let alone your birthday, stinks. One year I was sick and had PMS. IT was really lovely. Really.

Colleen said...

Totally heard "pool hall ace", too. No joke. And I thought that CCR song was singing about a babboon on the right. Man, was I wrong.

Hope you're feeling better (or didn't get sick) for your b-day. :)