Monday, October 27, 2008

The Thumper Rule

Have you ever known someone who loves to give bad news? I've known a couple, and there's one at Punkin's school right now. Unfortunately, she happens to be Punkin's afternoon teacher. Don't get me wrong, I really like this teacher a lot. She's sweet, funny. And she laughs at my jokes like nobody's business.

But lately it seems that she loves to point out all of Punkin's transgressions to me. It doesn't happen on a daily basis, but at least weekly she'll give me a report of something bad that Punkin has done during the day. Now when Punkin was biting her friends, I definitely wanted to know about that, but she doesn't bite anymore. Lately, Punkin's transgressions are, well, barely transgressions, in my opinion.

When Punkin was biting, I'd make a point to mention it to Punkin in front of her teacher and we'd talk about why it was bad. But Punkin would get really upset when I'd get mad at her, and I hated for that to be the way I greeted her every afternoon. I'd much rather see her grinning from ear to ear and running down the hall yelling "Mommmmmmy!" So, I started waiting to talk to her until after we got in the car, when I really had her attention.

Yet, I still get these reports. Now I know my child is not perfect. Good Lord do I know. But don't you think they could handle these things? Or at least tell me about something great she's done every now and then? I mean, that's what I pay them an arm and a leg for, right?

Here are some pictures from our trip.

This is Bubba and Punkin with our friends, Matt and Erica. Their sweet, sweet baby was already in bed so she's not in the photo:

And here's a family picture in front of the fountain in Lafayette Square:

Tune in tomorrow for a mystery!!


AndreAnna said...

Gah! Bubba looks just like you!

What good looking family you all are!

for a different kind of girl said...

A few weeks ago, I called one of my middle school son's teachers, just to see how he's doing, etc., and she kind of sighed and said, "Well, I guess he doesn't disrupt class when he comes in," and I was like, "Of course he doesn't disrupt class! He never would do that! Is that really all you can think of? Especially when I asked you how he's doing in terms of adapting to middle school?"

He's never acted up or out in class, so it felt like she was just digging at him for something to dig at. She kind of got put on my "list" at that point. My husband said I was being sort of petty, but I don't think so.

Your kids are charmers!

William Madden said...

His Sister,
I enjoy reading your blog, and that's a beautiful family photo. Btw, you look fantastic. Hope u had a nice b'day, and let's catch up soon.

AmyM said...

Great photo of y'all and Punkin is stylin' in those tights! Love them!

Debbie said...

I have known negative people like that. What is their problem? When I encounter this, I just try to stay away from the person. I might even consider meeting with this woman and asking her to point out something positive about your child before she starts in on the negative. If Punkin is around for any of this sharing of info, I would worry about what message this teacher is sending her.

Leslie said...

Yeah, Little Brother had a teacher like that a couple of years ago. It kind of broke my heart because, I know he's not a perfect child either, but he's not bad. Punkin is a sweet girl. She's three, which is an age where you test a lot of boundaries, but she's a good girl. And I'm diggin' those groovy tights!

calicobebop said...

Great pictures! Glad you had a great trip.

Muffin had a preschool teacher like that. She was very sweet but always made me feel like I wasn't being a good mom. It made me feel guilty anytime she pointed out a flaw or transgression.

Katie in MA said...

I used to have the opposite problem with Gracie's afternoon teacher. She would tell me every day that she had a great day. Then one day her morning teacher was still there. She adores Gracie, but she's a mom, so she knows how it is. She told me about a small problem Gracie had been having all week! We talked about the incident with Gracie (cue the remorse and tears) and I finished by saying in my best positive voice that Gracie and I would work on it and she'd have a better day tomorrow. I felt like it influenced the teacher to motivate Gracie to start fresh and think about good choices.

Maybe if you greeted the teacher and ask each day if Punkin had a good day, it will prompt her to think of the good things that happened? Otherwise I would schedule a conference or send her an email. said...

Yeah, people who think you are just living to be told negative, unhappy feeling things are really just living to be straightened out by you in the future.
Next time say, "Well... didn't ANYTHING good happen today?"
Maybe she'll rethink how negative she's being and try to be more positive in the future...

Fannie said...

Teacher/Parent, Parent/Child, Employer/Employee - Isn't the rule to share three positives for every negative?

Trannyhead said...

So what exactly is she doing that's so awful? I'm with fannie - you gotta pad the minus with the plus. Sounds like afternoon teacher sucks!