Thursday, May 29, 2008

A Letter to a Teenaged Punkin

My boss met with a client recently who brought along his daughter and his fifteen-year-old granddaughter. My boss was astounded by the disdain with which the granddaughter treated her mother.

I had lunch with a woman yesterday who recounted the struggles she had with her very rebellious daughter. And today my boss and I had a conversation about mother-daughter relationships and how they inevitably seem to go sour and how we both treated our mothers terribly for a while.

I can remember those days clearly -- with shame. I have no idea why I treated my mother so poorly. Frankly, I don't see how she kept from shipping me off somewhere until I came to my senses.

I hope it won't happen with me and Punkin, but chances are it will, even if just for a brief period of time (at least I hope it's brief). I don't know if my kids will ever read this blog, but just in case they do, I'd like to tell my future teenaged daughter a few things.

Dear Punkin,

I love you. I was thrilled when I found out I was having a girl. Now I had somebody to have tea parties with. Somebody to play dress up with. But also somebody to pass along my love of baseball and football too. And don't even get me started on the girl clothes!

And you and I have already had our struggles -- HELLO terrible twos! But we also have our good times. Every morning when I wake you up, I sit down beside your toddler bed and you crawl into my lap, resting your head on my shoulder while you wake up. Lately you've taken to asking me to lie down beside you. And I comply -- who could resist such a sweet request? (though I do fear for the toddler bed slats!)

Every day when I pick you up from school, you run to me yelling "MOMMY!" and I yell out "Poodle Bear" which is my other pet name for you. Or "Poodle Pants." Or "Punkin Butter." I pick you up and we give each other a big hug.

Tonight as we were getting ready for bed you said something about "My very best friend ever."

"Who's your best friend ever?" I asked.

"You are!" you said, your gorgeous smile lighting up your face as you wrapped your arms around me.

"You're my best friend ever, too!" I said. And you are.

See, you did like me once. And one day you will again.

I love you, Punkin.


Burgh Baby's Mom said...

Yup, that pretty much sums it up. The 2's aren't fabulous, but at least our kids like us. For now.

Great letter!

Debbie Yost said...

Maybe I'm weird, but I don't remember having any really bad times with my mom. My dad was a different story so maybe that's where I put all my energies. I've got 3 girls! I'm scared. Very scared. 8 was a bad time for MA and I. Maybe we went through it early.

Karen said...

Look at those dimples! How could that sweet thing ever turn into a teenager? Or a toddler in the throes of the terrible twos?

Colleen said...

Lil' Sassy Punkin! Love that pic...and love how she's all sweet and sleepy with you in the morning.

Yeah, I remember going through rough times with my mom when I was in Jr. High and a little bit of highschool. My 4 rotten brothers all went through it through highschool up until they were like 19! But my mom would just pop them in the shoulder with her knucklepunch and they'd get back in line. :)

Amanda said...

Well, I'd post a comment but I have to go find my tissue box first!

My London loves me so much and she's just so open and unabashed about it. Somedays, I cannot figure out why she likes me so much!

I know the day will come when I won't be able to figure out why she hates me so much. I'll try to lay as much ground work now for a loving relationship that will survive the teenage years. That's the best I can do.

1blueshi1 said...

she is just TOO delicious--those dimples! those squashy cheeks! my own daughter is quickly lengthening out of any remaining toddler plumpage, last checkup she was off the charts for height (nope, don't have any idea where she gets that!)

calicobebop said...

Aww, that's so sweet. I'm best friends with my Mom and I hope Muffin and will be best friends too.

Fannie Mae said...

Like the terrible two's; they're not teens forever!

Lulu said...

Aww...what a sweetie she is! And what a wonderful mother you are...

Tootsie Farklepants said...

Awwww... now I'm all cry-eee and stupid. That's so sweet and very much like my daughter and I.

I also got along pretty well with my mom. I can remember a couple of arguments we had (one about shoes the other about a boy, seriously) but we were pretty close.

Birdie said...

so precious. It's a heart breaker to think what they may end up like before they come around to their senses again.

Laurel said...

You gave me a lump in my throat. I live in dire fear of the day when Logan will despise me for a while. "Mooom!" I can hear her eyes rolling now. Here's some hope though. I always, always liked my mom, and my moments of brattiness were only fleeting. Please, dear God, tell me there is hope!

The Motherboard said...

We are in the middle of teenage drama around here. I so relate to your post. I have embraced the fact that she will go to therapy and blame me for everything. Its quite liberating actually! :>

Some days she rolls her eyes at me so much that I really think they are going to get stuck there-- in the back of her head--- and other days she just wants to lay on me and cuddle and just be with me. I like those days.

Mood swings? check.
Rolling eyes? check.
More fun to talk to now? double triple check.

Wonderful post!

Jonny's Mommy said...

Oh craap. I'm a weepy mess.

Thanks a lot.

No really. thanks

ImpostorMom said...

so very sweet and I must admit the thought of having a girl one day scares the crap out of me because I can remember how awful I was to my mother. We are quite close now though so maybe it was worth it. :)