Way back when, when Mr. Daddy and I were just newlyweds, Mr. Daddy worked with a guy named Matt. Matt was nice and we all hung out for a while. But Matt was single and we were a couple and it went as those things usually do -- we eventually parted ways. Occasionally we'd still run into him in town, but then we moved to my home town and we lost touch completely.
Fast forward to 5 years later. Mr. Daddy and I had moved to Savannah. And one night, while cruising the aisles of Publix, who should I run into but Matt! And his wife! In Savannah!
As it turned out, they lived in Savannah too. We all met for dinner and got to know Erica and we liked her. We all had a lot in common and it was almost like they were our other half. We became very good friends and hung out together quite a bit.
Even after Bubba came along, it didn't really affect our relationship. They both love kids (Matt especially) and would have had one of their own right away, but he wanted to finish his degree and Erica was just beginning her career, so they weren't really ready.
And then we moved up here. And unfortunately, while absence does make the heart grow fonder the logistics of maintaining a long distance relationship are a bitch. We usually try to see them if we're in Savannah, but we don't get down there that much anymore.
And now, after two heartbreaking miscarriages, they are expecting their first child in June. A girl. And we're going to Savannah next weekend!
Last night Mr. Daddy was talking to Matt about our upcoming trip. Matt asked if he had any words of advice. Mr. Daddy said, "Dude, there's nothing I can say that will prepare you. It will be like nothing you've experienced before." Which is definitely true.
But I did have something I wanted to pass along -- something I wish somebody had said to me. "Matt," I said, "the most important thing you can do is to trust your instincts. You will know your baby. You will know what to do. Don't let yourself get freaked out by all the books you'll read. Trust your gut."
And I didn't say this, but I wish I had -- Do what works for your family. Don't let someone tell you that x is right or wrong or make you feel bad about a choice you've made. Having a baby is hard and if you've found something that works for you and makes your life a little easier, then I say go for it.
Before we see Matt and Erica next weekend, I'd like to put together a little book -- a book of real parenting advice from those of us who've been there. In the trenches, so to speak.
If you'd like to share some advice, I'll include it in the book too. And remember guys, they're newbies, so don't scare them!
5 years ago