Monday, February 25, 2008

My Awards Show Has a First Name, It's O-S-C-A-R!

And here to present this week's Cool Cat Award is Last Year's Winner Tootsie Farklepants. Tootsie won for her roll in Vintage Thirty.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, this week's Cool Cat Award goes to....Madame Queen!"

See how I did that? Aren't I clever, with my homage to the Oscars? But seriously, a big ol' thanks to Tootsie for this award. I'll be brief with my thanks before the music runs me off stage. And so we don't have to wait 'til next year, I'm going to pass this Cool Cat Award along to Fannie at This Isn't What I Ordered, Lulu over at Lulu's Laundry and my fashion minded friend over at Stay at Home Mom Going Quickly Insane.

Zzzzzzz....oh, sorry! Dozed off there for a minute. Staying up about two hours past your bedtime will do that to you. And I don't even know why I felt compelled to watch. I haven't seen a single one of the films nominated last night. FOR ANYTHING!! Not even Sound Mixing. Or Sound Editing. Which really, what is the difference there?

BUT, I love to watch the Oscars. I love the inevitable and often interminable montages. I love the fashion. And on that note, didn't you think last night was kind of....blah. There was nobody godawful, though Daniel Day Lewis' wife was close, but nobody made me say "Holy Smokes!" either.

The Highlights:

1. Helen Mirren's dress. I want to grow up to be Helen Mirren.

2. Tilda Swinton teasing George about his nipples.

3. Best Song winner "Falling Slowly." What a gorgeous song. And big kudos to Jon Stewart for bringing Markita Irglova back so that she could give her speech.

Just a quick aside here...why, when a man and a woman win an award does the man always go up to the mic first and use up all the time? Why? You can bet your bahookie that if I ever win an academy award and my co-winner is a man, I'm going first.

The Lowlights:

1. Oh, Reege. Must you be so frantic?!

2. Sarah Larson. Girl, if you're gonna be with The Clooney, you've got to represent! What was that dress? I could do my hair better than that. Do you even have a voice? George, George, George. I really think you could do better (me, me, me, pick me!)

3. Cameron Diaz? Girl, it's called sunscreen. Invest in some. Oh, and put on some lips while you're at it. Did you and your stylist have a falling out? (Updated to add: "Putting on lips" in my family means putting on some lipstick. I didn't want anyone to think I was condoning in any way those heinous duck lips everyone seems to be sporting these days!)

4. Low star power. Where were all the big players? Where were Angie and Brad? Tom and Katie. I know where J. Lo is, but it just seemed like a lot of people were missing this year. Did anybody else notice that?

So, there's my postmortem. Maybe I'll get around to watching a few of these movies before the next Oscars. What was your highlight? Your lowlight?


Karen said...

Congrats on your Cool Cat award!

Sorry, I've no comments on the Oscars. Maybe if I'd have watched...

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

I'm in the uber-exclusive Too Cool to Watch the Oscars Club, but I'm sure you are spot on with the assessment of George's eye candy.

Congrats on the award!

Lulu said...

Ooh! I like being a cool kitty! Meowzer! Thank you.

And, BTW, I've got dibs on being Helen Mirren!! Me! Lulu wants to be Helen! If I can't be her, then I at least want her hair.

Anonymous said...

I didn't watch, but saw one pic of Helen. That Brit is one studly broad!
And, Brangelina are prob trying to avoid publicity now that she's with bump.

Vince Hart said...

FYI, it was not a question of Hansard using all the time. The music director at the Oscars made a mistake. He was looking down and did not see Irglova coming up to the mike, so he started the music when Hansard finished talking. The show's director notified Stewart to bring her back out after the break.

AmyM said...

I didn't watched but checked the photos on all the celeb gossip sites. George's girl's dress was described as draperies. And MQ--I'm older--I get George.

Tom and his son were at the NASCAR race...according to the gossips...because Nichole was going to be there preggers with Keith Urban. Wah-Wah-Wah!

Colleen said...

Well, I know Brad/Angelina weren't there because, according to Jon Stewart, they couldn't get 17 babysitters. ;)

but yes, definitely lacking in the star power...where was Ben Afleck, esp. since his wife was presenting and his brother was nominated? I mean, was he there and they didn't show him? Was Charlize Theron there? or Reese Witherspoon? Or Dame Judi Dench or Halle Berry (since those two knumbskulls had that whole, very poorly written and executed skit about those two actresses)? Or Julia Roberts? Or Matt Damon? Well, at least The Clooney and Johnny Depp were there for some really sexy eye candy (Hi Johnny...I'd love to live in the south of France!...all the French I know I learned from Pepe Le Pew!).
I do believe I'm a bit delirious from getting to bed so late.

Queen Mother said...

The very genuine surprise, happiness, and gratitude of the "dark horse" winners of best supporting actress, best actress, and best song made the time spent watching the show worthwhile. You have to think those who didn't receive Oscars were equally disappointed but had to hide it and keep a public face. Somehow in this Oscar production, I felt more in touch with the humanity of the pretty people.

Tootsie Farklepants said...

You're very welcome!

Heen Mirren looked amazing! Her dress was my favorite.

Tilda Swinton's dress wasn't finished.

Did you catch Regis call Javier Bardem, Xavier? Was it a gaff or intentional? It was rude whatever it was.

Sarah looked like she might have had a good limo ride over.

The Oscars aren't complete without Meryl Streep! Where was she???

1blueshi1 said...

thankyouThankYouTHANKYOU!!! For me, the highlight was right after the Oscars when the Jimmy Kimmel Live show did a quick "I'm F$cking Ben Affleck" song & video that featured Brad Pitt as a pizza delivery boy.
But I wish I had seen Tilda tease George about his nipples. Lord A'mighty!

Laurel said...

I too hate the heinous lips of late, but I also agree a woman should not leave the house without her lips on. Perhaps that is because I am losing mine--seriously--as I age. It is a gigantic sadness.

Anonymous said...

I didn't watch, but I think your post was hilarious!

BTW, I tagged you for a fun refridgerator meme...

ImpostorMom said...

I watched Monday morning while drinking my coffee and eating my cereal. On fast forward. :D I did slow down for the Jon Stewart parts and the big awards but I didn't pause for the speeches except Diablo Cody's, she's awesome. That was great of Stewart to bring that woman back out.

I haven't really seen any of the movies either. Oh I did love the baby joke that Stewart made, priceless.