I know you're probably thinking, "Yeah, right. There's no such thing."
But there is. Yes, Virginia, there IS a perfect jean. I have found them and I love them. And I owe it all to Burgh Baby's Mom. She told us about these jeans weeks ago and then she kept teasing us, dropping little hints, but never actually telling us what they were. It was starting to be like Joshilyn Jackson's Crazy Farm Plan. But I guess there were enough of us bugging the heck out of her in the comments that she finally realized how desperate we truly were.
Tonight I went and tried them on. They were perfect. Not too tight. Not too loose. Not too high in the waist. Not too low. Just the right amount of fabric around the middle. The perfect color. They're called the "Curvy," which I much prefer to "Can't get rid of these last 15 lbs of baby fat." They make me look more like my pre-baby self.
One of the hardest things to deal with post-baby were the changes in my body. I never had an awesome body -- though now I look at pictures of myself in high school and college and weep -- but I had a nice figure and a small waist. Waist? What is this waist you speak of? Now? Now I have the perpetual muffin top. When I shop for bathing suits I feel more like this:
Than even this:
(Which is totally NOT fat, by the way!!)But the hardest part is what I call the "c-section shelf." After two c-sections, I have a "Dunlop Belly." What's that, you ask? My belly has done lopped over my c-section scar. It makes wearing a bikini nigh on impossible.
The frustrating thing about that is that if we had stayed in Savannah, my doctor would have taken care of that for me after Punkin was born. He was known around town as being the doctor who would do modified tummy tucks after c-sections. He would only do them if you were pretty sure you weren't having any more children and before sewing you up post-baby, he would just remove a little extra skin. Sigh. I swear I briefly thought of having him deliver Punkin as well, even though he was four hours away. Vanity, thy name is Madame Queen.
So my search for the perfect jean is really all about my search for my pre-baby body. But to get that body means I'd have to work really hard and go to the gym more than twice a year. So I don't know about you, but I'd rather get my pre-baby body at the Gap.
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13 comments:
Hell, if I need a c-section, I'm driving from Jersey. That man should be sainted.
I am going to the Gap. ASAP! Those are cute! And if they fit like you say they do, well, I am getting multiple pairs.
Okay, in all my cheap ways, I may be converted. If two people speak highly of these jeans I'll have to find a Gap and try on a pair. (Darn small town living, where you have to drive forever to find a decent store!)
I'm quite shocked and appalled that a picture of me in the nude is obviously circulating around the internet. But it is a little flattering that someone made it into a statue.
Perfect jeans are indeed worthy of celebration!
One time when I posted about my jeans woes about a dozen people recommended the Gap Curvy to me. They don't fit me, though. :(
I do have one pair of PERFECT Lucky jeans. I think they stopped making that style, though. *sniffle*
hahahah dunlop belly..thats hilarious.
I have told myself that I will not go clothes shopping until I get some of this babyweight off...but I may just have to break that little rule to try those on-they sound great!
"Cue the Hallelujah chorus" is right! I was actually NERVOUS that you would try them on and think that I was a psycho goofball. As I was driving home yesterday I was all, "Madame Queen is probably trying on the jeans now. Oooh, I hope she doesn't hate them."
Oh, and the picture can't be of Karen, because that's absolutely me. Yup, that's my gut hanging down. I'd recognize it anywhere.
Now if you'll excuse me, I must investigate and find out if there are any docs in the area that will do a little tucking here and there. Because if there is, I might be slightly more willing to have another baby, just for the tuck at the end.
You are too funny! Dunlop belly--I love it!
I'll have to look for those jeans. I can't find any that fit me exactly right either. I used to love Gap jeans and then they quit making the kind that fit me.
The butt! The butt! What about the butt? I'm lucky in the tummy department (I had an aunt tell me when I was 7 yrs old that "young ladies hold their tummies in!")since I've been sucking in my gut religiously since 1976, I'm okay there. But this aunt never said anything about what young ladies do with their butts. Now THERE'S a problem area! What will these jeans do for me? I'm in desperate need of a butt-ectomy.
This is a test. This is only a test....to see if my new avatar works.
Your avatar?! We're talking about getting our pre-baby bodies back via jeans, and you're worried about your avatar?!
And BBM, I know that statue is me. It's not only got my tummy hanging to my knees, but those are my hips, thighs and saggy boobs. Except I'm not a triple E.
I have a shelf without ever having a C-section. How'd that happen?
I had the dunlop without a c-section too. And my abdominal muscles separated and never went back together. So I had it all...corrected. I'm sure the jeans are way cheaper. Damn.
yep...after first baby the non-c-section shelf was pretty minimal. but now after two? forget it...it's a very strange thing indeed to see. I marvel at it in the mirror sometimes because I just don't understand why the sagginess doesn't start right at the pubic bone.
but I think I will now have to go out and either treat myself to an early Christmas or early B-day gift of good, hip, mom-jeans (as opposed to the Mom Jeans of SNL fame).
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