My aunt died yesterday. It was not unexpected, though that doesn't make it any less sad. If I'm being honest, I can say that I wasn't all that close to her, but she was my daddy's sister and she has been a fixture in our lives for my entire life.
With her death I am reminded that grief is not really for those who died. Grief is for those left behind. She was in poor health -- had been for years due to being overweight and having diabetes. Someone told me last night that when the doctors told her that her heart was failing that she said she wasn't worried about herself, she was worried for her children that she was leaving behind.
When my grandfather died ten years ago after suffering for several months from lung cancer, someone said to me "Don't be sad. He's not suffering anymore." And I replied, "I'm not sad for HIM. I'm sad for ME."
My sadness comes when I think about her children, left without a mother, even though they are all grown up and have children of their own. My sadness comes from my father losing his sister. I am sad for the hole that will be left in the relationships in her family. In our family.
5 years ago