Monday, March 3, 2008

The Foot -- A Thing of Beauty

But first, Chantelle at Photomommy tagged me with this What's On Your Refrigerator meme last week. It was really a bad time to catch me because here's what my refrigerator looks like:

This is the cleanest you will ever see my fridge. Normally it is covered in toddler and preschooler masterpieces, various interesting and not-so-interesting magnets, a calendar, the pre-K calendar, the Religious Education calendar, photos of nieces and nephews, and the Leapfrog Alphabet and Farm Fridge magnet sets. Among other things. Mr. Daddy cleaned it off and put everything into a box last week, but honestly I'm surprised it's stayed this clean.

Now, back to feet. I think Bubba has a, um, hmmm....how to put this? Let's just get it right out in the open. A foot fetish. There I said it.

Ever since he was small he's liked feet and all things foot related. He started out with a particular fondness for shoes, particularly my shoes, which freaked Mr. Daddy right out. Not that he wouldn't love Bubba if he were that way, but let's just face it, life is much easier if you're fall into middle of the spectrum in terms of what "society" considers "normal."

Here's Bubba in his early days. He's probably about two in this picture (please ignore the large white arm in the background).

But, he soon lost interest in shoes and went to the source of his true pleasure -- feet. He's become a purist, if you will. He loves feet, particularly his own. He loves to smell them and he loves to make other people smell them. He'll even try to sneak his feet under your nose.

"Bubba!! I don't want to smell your stinky feet!!"

"You already smelled it. You already smelled it!" he'll singsong, laughing hysterically and completely cracking himself up.

Occasionally when he's watching a movie or is deeply engrossed in a cartoon, I'll catch him with his leg pulled up rubbing his toes back and forth under his nose. At first we made a big deal of trying to get him to stop. Then we realized that, toddlers and preschoolers being the contrary bunch that they are, we might actually be encouraging the habit. You know, forbidden fruit.

So we ignored it. But the toe sniffing continued and continues to this day. I really feel for Bubba's future wife, unless he grows out of it.

It could be worse I guess. His uncle Ratboy (name changed to protect the parties involved) used to capture his own farts in a can and try to make his brothers smell them. Compared to that, a little toe smelling starts to look fairly tame, right?

8 comments:

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

I have two experiences with foot fetishes:

1. A man that frequented a mall that I worked at in college used to walk around and offer women $5 to see their bare feet. Please don't let Bubba turn into that man.

2. A candidate that was applying for a job that reported to me submitted her portfolio complete with work she had done designing a website full of photos of black feet. The name of the website was very specific in what you would you find, but I still had to explain it to my 60-something year old boss when I didn't want to hire her. Don't let Bubba grow up to be someone that looks at that website.

Karen said...

Captured farts?! My boys would try that in a heartbeat if I let them hear about it. Which I won't.

And if Bubba can still rub his toes under his nose at a marrying age his wife may appreciate the limberness.

Maybe he'll just learn to give stellar foot rubs to his wife.

AnGlOpHiLe FoOtBaLl FaNaTiC said...

I'm with Karen. Capturing farts? Geez. I thought my brother & his BFF were bad when they'd gorge on beans and then light the farts on fire until they singed their butt hair. Uncle Rat sounds oddly like that. You are right to not draw attention. If he ends up doing it later in life, just remember it could always be worse.

Lulu said...

First of all, I love the black shoes that Bubba is wearing in the picture. Not necessarily on him, but in general. They are hot.

Secondly, I'm not sure what to tell you about Bubba's foot fetish. However, I will tell you that I chewed my toenails until I reached my teenage years. I'm surprised that I didn't end up with worms or some other unGodly disease. Okay, I can't believe that I just admitted to that in a public forum, so now I must go never to return. That is, until tomorrow. If you'll have me back.

1blueshi1 said...

Zac bites his toenails...urrrgh.

Tootsie Farklepants said...

OMG!!! Captured farts!!!

ImpostorMom said...

that is so funny. I love the image of him cracking himself up because you've already smelled his feet. God lets hope he grows out of that before he's a teenager. I remember my brother's feet smelling so bad he could clear a room.

Colleen said...

I'm sorry, I'm still laughing. Bubba sounds like at least 2 or 3 of my brothers, uncles, and/or cousins, especially the sneaking of the stinky foot under your nose.
Also, I can't seem to keep Gavin out of my camel-colored leather Clarks boots...and he plays with his feet constantly. Guess I'll have to start keeping an eye out for sneaky stinky feet!
And along the lines of BBM, I knew a creepy guy in college that liked me (but I was not as fond of) and while I was on the phone, he pulled off my clog and stuck my toes in his mouth. I feel bad for the person on the phone as I think I broke their eardrum with the shriek I emitted, but I don't feel bad for that guy, who got a bloody lip and nose from when I half-involuntarily kicked him.