Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Rules

Did any of y'all have any age-related "rules" when you were growing up?

Like, I wasn't allowed to get my ears pierced until I was 9. Or, I wasn't allowed to wear any makeup at all until 6th grade and then I was only allowed to wear a little eye shadow and some blush. When I finally was allowed to wear mascara, I wasn't allowed to wear black, only brown. I wasn't allowed to date until I was 15 and then it had to be a double date. Single dates had to wait until I was 16.

I think most of these were based on the notion of what "good" girls do and don't do. "Good" girls don't wear too much make-up and I distinctly remember my mom telling me that only trashy girls wear black mascara. When she was younger good girls didn't get their ears pierced (remember Sandy from Grease?).

But I wonder if these sorts of rules still apply? I mean, sure, there are things I definitely won't allow Punkin to do -- no short shorts or belly baring shirts while she lives in my house.
Most of these rules worked out pretty well for me, though, and I had planned on instituting some of them in my own home. The makeup rules will definitely stand and in fact I may up it to 7th grade. I'm not even sure Punkin will be allowed to date -- we'll see when the time comes. (Kidding! Of course she'll date.) (With her dad and I in the backseat.)(Kidding again! Mostly.)

But as I mentioned yesterday, Punkin has really been angling to get her ears pierced. At first I thought about making her wait, but then I didn't really have a good reason to. Pierced ears no longer equates to trashy and even though it squicks me out to see a baby's ears pierced that has more to do with the thought of actually doing that and dealing with the resultant screaming child than any aesthetic or moral reasons. So, I told her we would go this weekend.

Whereupon she promptly changed her mind. Fear, of pain mostly, has changed her mind. I'm not completely surprised, but to be honest, I am a little disappointed. It's seems like sort of a rite of passage, you know? And I looked forward to picking out some earrings with her. Heck, I even looked forward to helping her care for them.

But I didn't push her. I told her she didn't have to if she didn't want to. We'll see what happens.


8 comments:

Katie said...

Hey, maybe we should try that with the dating thing. Tell them they're allowed so they will want to do anything BUT think about those boys!

el-e-e said...

Love your thoughts on Punkin dating. Ha!!

When I was little it was 8 years old for ear-piercing. Don't know why, that's just when we all did it. I can imagine after you'd psyched yourself up, it was a letdown this weekend. (Would've been good timing, too -- hello, earrings for stocking stuffers!) She'll come back around I'm sure.

Kathy said...

Of course there were rules:

Ear piercing at age 13, no dating until 16, no make-up until sometime in high school. I don't remember a rule about shaving my legs. I only remember I had one shaved before I asked permission.

My daugher got her ears pierced at 6 thanks to my ex. I think she should have been 10. She is in 6th grade and has a friend that wears a TON of make-up. I think my daughter will have to wait a few more years.

My trouble now is - when do I cave and get her a cell phone. I don't believe 6th grade is the right age.

Burgh Baby said...

That's pretty spectacular that she backed down once you said OK. She may change her mind again, but still. I kinda love it!

Laurel said...

I had all kinds of age related rules, and I think most still apply. Most of them that my parents instituted stood me well, and I think kept me from mistakes that would have come from immaturity. I'm a total believer in not dating until 16, first of all because a girl needs to get to know herself before she gets all wrapped up in a boy. I hope the steady dating waits until long after 16...I can hope can't I?

On the ear piercing thing, my parents made me wait until I was 14 I think. I just made Logan wait until she was 8. Sometimes it's good for her to look forward to something.

p.s. can I say that I'm glad you are back? I missed you!

Lauren said...

I started out telling C she had to wait 'til she was 12 to get her ears pierced. She asked me so many times (like, fortymajillion) that we caved and let her do it at 6. Let's just hope she doesn't start asking for a tattoo any time soon...

Robyn said...

I don't remember having any, I think my parents thought that anything I was asking for, I was ready for.

That being said, I HAVE imposed some age-related rules for my son. For whatever reason, he totally accepts statements like, "no karate class until you're 5" or "bedtime is at 8:00 for 4 year olds."

1blueshi1 said...

So glad you are back!!!

Getting Woozle's ears pierced was one of the first things I did after I kicked the xhusband out of the house. I don't know why but that gesture was my "I'm gonna do what I want and you can't stop me." Now that she is in second grade she will often choose earrings to match her outfits, and, be warned, DO NOT EVER TAKE PUNKIN INTO JUSTICE. Justice for girls, it used to be Limited Too.