I SO Should Have Knocked On Wood.

Do you know what happens when you tell the world, via the internet, how easy it's been keeping the kids by yourself this week?

1. You get a note home from your son's assistant principal alerting you to the fact that your son has 5 unexcused tardies or early leaves from school and that if the problem is not corrected you will be referred to a Social Worker and/or the Truancy Panel.

2. Your son wakes at 10:00 p.m. after having thrown up all over his ENTIRE BED.

3. On Friday night, after returning home from a late movie with your daughter, you're stopped at a license check, whereupon the younger-than-you-by-a-good-ten-years deputy informs you that your license expire. In October. And then he writes you a ticket.

4. Your husband, without one iota of sympathy, tells you that it was dumb to let your license expire. As though you did it ON PURPOSE.

Fortunately, all of these things resolved themselves pretty easily.

I called the school about #1 and I think we've figured out what's happened. On several occasions, when picking up Bubba from the After School program, they haven't had an After School sign out sheet and so have instructed us to sign Bubba out on the early release form. HOWEVER, there have been a couple of times that I've visited Bubba's school toward the end of the day and Bubba has begged to go home with me. I asked his teacher and she said all he was missing was recess and that it was fine for him to leave. As it turns out, those leaves DO count against him, even though all he was missing was recess. It would have been nice if somebody had told me that.

Also, do you know what else I have a problem with? Now, I know that they have to have rules and that once you start making exceptions for one person then it gets to be kind of crazy, but it seems to me that the office could have coordinated with Bubba's teacher to see if there is a real truancy problem before sending me a letter that says "If the problem continues then the result may be a conference with school administration and/or School Social Worker. If the problem cannot be resolved, then a referral to the Truancy Panel and possible referral to the appropriate court may be made." Because you know what? That sentence right there pisses me off. Bubba had not missed a single day of school yet so I really don't think there's a truancy problem here.

As for Item #2, that was the one and only time Bubba threw up, which, thank GOD. Also, do you know how hard it is to get on your high horse and call the school all in a huff about how wrong they are about your son's truancy problem when he is not, in fact, in school that day? I could have sent his germ-infested self on to school, but I didn't want to send him to school just to prove a point.

I don't know if there's anything I'm going to be able to do about the ticket. My dad knows some people who know some people, so I might be able to get the ticket thrown out. I've already had my license renewed and that was surprisingly easy. I was in and out of the DMV in less than 30 minutes. I know!

And as for #4, Mr. Daddy apologized "if he seemed like he was being a jerk."

So. My week is almost up. Tonight we're going to make nachos, watch the Super Bowl, drink beer (Miller 64 for me -- the absolute PALEST beer ever, but hey it's only 1 WW point!) , and root for the Steelers.

And then I'm probably going to collapse into a coma-like sleep for at least three days.