What a Difference a Day Makes

Yesterday did not start off well. I had a bad mood hangover that was exacerbated by Bubba's refusal to help walk Punkin into school because he would be "embarrassed." So, instead I made him walk in with his MOTHER (oh my GOD!) and I even made him hold my hand for a few feet. That'll learn him!

But last night when I picked them up, I was resolved to make it a wonderful evening. I asked them if they had a good day and Bubba said "Yeah, except for this morning." I apologized for my irritation and vowed to do better.

Punkin had a great day. In her class they have a Green/Yellow/Red behavior system, but they also can move UP on the ladder to blue and purple and she had moved up to blue. She didn't know what she had done to get moved up, but I guess it really doesn't matter.

When we got home I asked if she wanted to help me make dinner. I thought this would be a great way for us to spend some time together, doing something fun. Well, fun-ish. She poured water for the rice, she used the can opener to open the beans and dumped them into the pot. We made corn muffins from a box (Shhhh! Don't tell my grandmother) and she cracked the egg and poured the milk. She stirred them and then I held the bowl while she spooned the batter into the muffin pan.

The whole dinner itself was delightful. Everyone ate their food with no complaints (somebody mark this date on a calendar!), nobody was fussed at for squirming or standing up. Everybody used their utensils properly. Over ice cream dessert we divided into Team Vanilla (me and Bubba) and Team Mint Chocolate Fudge chunk (Mr. Daddy and Punkin). The look of betrayal on Punkin's face when she realized that Mr. Daddy was in fact eating vanilla was priceless and sent us all into fits of giggles.

All in all, it was delightful. And stress free. And there was no yelling.

And boy did I need that.

Updates from the Snowy South

So, after a gentle nudge in the comments of my last post from a longtime reader, I realized that I haven't posted in a while. I realized that this happens to me when I have something unbloggable going on. It's like my brain thinks that if it can't blog about x, then it can't blog at all. But I think it's safe now to blog some of the details, so here goes.

We have made an offer on a house.

Let's all let that sink in for a moment, shall we? Now let's all do a happy dance!

But don't get all Saturday Night Fever on me just yet. The reasons I haven't blogged about this happy occasion are these: 1) the possibility of jinxing the whole thing and 2) the fact that the whole experience has been frought with frustration and negativity. Except for the part where we loooove the house.

I still can't get into all the details because you just never know who is related to whom around these parts, but the sellers have been somewhat....difficult. Yeah, that's the word I'll use. There's no realtor involved and the sellers have poured a crap ton of their own money trying to save this house from going into foreclosure for their son and they have what can best be described as PTSD in regards to this house, which I totally get, by the way. However, every time we have tried to negotiate the best deal possible for US, they view it as us trying to screw them over.

We have almost walked away from the whole deal twice and it could still happen. We should see the attorney's contract today and depending on what's in it, the whole deal might be off. The weird thing is, if it is? I'm totally okay with it.

So, obviously, I'll keep you posted.

Most of y'all are probably aware that we are currently experiencing Snowmageddon 2011 around here. For those Northerners among us, please attempt to refrain from guffawing at us and our inability to deal. In our defense, I can probably count on both hands the number of times it has snowed in my entire life, and yet in the last three years we've had two snowfalls that have basically crippled us. Both times, including this one, the snow turned to ice once on the ground. When you live in a hilly geographical region as we do, well, ice and hills just don't mix. To sum up, we are not prepared.

So, I am basically looking at the 4th day in a row in the house with the kids. TV has been watched, video games have been played, books have been read, Wii bowling tournaments have been played (and lost! #$#$%)#$%) and I can slowly but surely feel my brain turning into mush. The truly sad thing is that all these negative experiences with snow (you might remember this one) have killed my love for snow. It feels like part of my inner child has died.

Come on spring!!!

A Gift

I love Christmas music. I mean, who doesn't really? I have a favorite secular Christmas song (Silver Bells) and while I have several that are in the running for a semi-tie for favorite religious Christmas songs, probably my all-time favorite is the Harry Simeone Chorale version of "The Little Drummer Boy."



I love the harmony and the "brum brums," but mostly I love the message. Even the smallest, poorest among us have a gift we can bring -- to God, to the world, to our friends and family.

Merry Christmas!

I hope that this Christmas you learn to recognize the gifts you have to bring and that He smiles at you.

Somebody Hand Me a Tissue

I've not been shy here about mentioning some of my "mental health issues." If you're new here, go read here and, to some degree, here.

Well, for those of you playing along at home, I'm off my Lexapro again. I weaned myself this time and have had a much better result. MUCH better. You know what's best about it, though? The tears. The crying. Oh, how I've missed crying. And the sad thing was that I didn't even realize that I was missing it, which is odd since I'm a life-long crier. I'm talking about the sentimental tears. You know the ones -- that ones that come when the Mom in the Publix commercial realizes that the cake the little boy made is for her, not some imagined sweetheart. Or the ones that spring to your eyes when your child gives you a spontaneous declaration of love accompanied by a huge hug.

Of course, my most notorious sentimental cry was over the Mercedes commercial. This one, to be exact. Come ON! How can you NOT cry at that? Its life is flashing before its eyes!

I didn't even realize these tears were missing until I was driving along the other day, singing along to the radio with my kids. All of sudden, my voice and Bubba's rose above the radio in perfect harmony. I was filled with such a swell of love at that moment and all of a sudden my eyes welled.

Wait. what's this? This...wetness...in my eyes?!

Since then it's been like unleashing a dam. Everything sets me off. Oh tears! How I missed you. I'm sooo glad you're back. And just in time, too, for Christmas, when the sight of the kids with Santa, every Christmas carol, the Christmas Eve service at church are sure to bring on the waterworks.

I'll be looking at the Christmas tree this year with tears in my eyes. And boy am I glad.

I'm Going to Look Good from Every Angle

A while back I mentioned that I had begun reading some style blogs. I meant to link to them at the time, but, well, you know, life got in the way. My road to hell is going to be so smooooooth because it will be slick as glass, paved with all my good intentions.

Anyhoo, one of my faves is Looks Good from the Back. Adrien and Marianne are so cute and I love their sense of style. Their near-daily posts are cute, funny and I love their occasional mocking of the different style blog "poses" -- though the new poses that they've created are what really crack me up. The best thing about them, though, is that the things that they wear are what I consider "real people clothes," as in "clothes that don't cost an arm and a leg." I covet their bags and their shoes and their ability to put together things I would never have considered.

See, that's always been my problem. I'm afraid to get adventurous. I don't know if things "go" or not. Or is it too matchy-matchy? Can I really put those two colors together? Does it look like I'm trying too hard?

So, a couple of weeks ago when they put together a style board for Samantha of Campenette for BlogHer, I asked them how much they would charge me to put something together for me. One arm? One leg? A combo of the two?

As it turns out, they were easily bribed and immediately set to work on helping me update my fall wardrobe. See, because of our financial situation, new clothing for me just hasn't been in the old budget. My work wardrobe is in serious need of updating/upgrading.

I sent them a brief explanation of what I was looking for, my body type, weight, sizes, etc. Hey, nothing like sharing your weight on the internet for the whole world to see, right? But to get their advice, I would have done just about whatever they asked me to.

They put all these ingredients in their magic cauldrons (i.e., their brains) and pulled out the most amazing finds. My style boards are up today over at Looks Good From the Back. I'm thrilled with everything they've put together and I can't wait to start rocking some of these outfits. I've already bought a thing or two and I'll post pictures here once I get some stuff going.

Adrien, Marianne -- thank you so much!! You're THE BEST.

Give and Get

For a long time I kept it a secret the difficult times that Mr. Daddy and I have been through. Financially, we have struggled since we moved back to this area nearly five years ago. Having two kids in daycare was tough too. The year that we had them both in daycare full time? That year we shelled out $12,000 in daycare fees. You might wonder why I even worked, but it was always my job that had the insurance. And having had to buy private insurance for a year while we were self-employed made me realize what an awesome thing employer subsidized healthcare is. Things have gotten easier as the kids have gotten older. We went from two kids in daycare to just one and starting this Friday both our children will be in public school and all we'll have to pay for is after school care.

I came clean a couple of months back about our struggles and it was a huge relief. I always felt like I was holding something back from you guys and now there are so many more things I can blog about now that you know most of the details. Also, since then I've been reading so many blogs by people who have either been laid off or whose loved ones have been laid off. It's made me realize that we are not alone.

Since that post of mine, Mr. Daddy and I have really been working to pay off our debt. We've paid off three cards and just started working on the 4th this month. If I had actually written a physical check for the nearly $1000 I just sent Bank of America, I would have written SUCK IT in the memo field. I was saying it in my mind, though.

There's an old hymn that instructs us to "Count your blessings, name them one by one" and so I'm going to take a moment to write about a few things I'm thankful for:

1. I'm thankful that Mr. Daddy and I have been able to make such progress on our paying off our debts.

2. I'm thankful that we had enough extra money for me to buy a plane ticket so I could go and see AndreAnna this September (Woot!) Also joining us? Annabelle Speaks, Pseudostoops, Campenette, Belle Plaine, and McMama. If I left anybody out, I apologize. I've never met any of these women in real life, but I've gotten to know them all via their blogs and Twitter over the past couple of weeks. And AndreAnna is one of my most consistent commenters (and one of my favorite bloggers), so I'm super thrilled to finally get to the hang with her.

3. Mr. Daddy is able to fulfill a dream of his: to register for the introductory blacksmithing class at the John C. Campbell Folk School this November.

4. We were able to buy the kids' back to school clothes without worrying where the money was going to come from.

I know all this is money related and I don't want it to seem like we're Mr. and Mrs. Gotrocks all of a sudden, or seem like I'm bragging, but I just cannot tell you what an absolute relief it is to be able to do these things. For so many months, nay years, we had our noses to the grindstone without room for any extras. There were literally times when we were down to $5 or less before payday. So to finally be able to breathe and have a little fun, well that feels pretty darn good.

Throughout our financial troubles, Mr. Daddy and I have tried to continue our charitable giving. We give weekly to our church. Our Sunday school class provided food for needy kids to take home on the weekends. Mr. Daddy sends money occasionally to Make A Wish and I send money pretty regularly to the USO. I believe in paying it forward. So, in honor of the many, many blessings we have received, I want to make a gift. In your name.

Leave a comment with the name of your favorite charity by 11:59 p.m. on August 4th. I will use a random number generator to select one of the comments and then I will make a $50 donation in your name to the charity of your choice.

The way I see it, this way everybody wins.

I Think I Deserve A Ribbon This Time

Remember those damn ribbons? The ones that caused such an inferiority complex in me? Well, funny story.

Although I wrote that post about how I needed to just let Punkin be who she was, I thought well, maybe she might like to have some ribbon hair bows. You know, if she knew about them. So, I contacted my crafty friend Tara who's made some hair bows of her own and she offered to give me some lessons.

I gathered up my glue gun and bought a bunch of ribbon and other supplies and Punkin and I set off to Tara's for a playdate and a craft lesson. Tara made two bows for me while I watched and then I set about making one of my own. They were fairly large-ish, but totally cute and exactly what I was looking for.

And guess what? With the exception of one Sunday, Punkin won't wear them. Also? They don't really look like her. I mean, they're cute on her, but they just don't look right somehow. But, at the same time, I also made some of these hair bows and they look totally cute on her. And she will wear these. Occasionally.

But the really funny thing happened yesterday morning. Remember my Bible school freak out when all the moms made their daughters's too-large shirts fit just right and look oh-so cute? Well, yesterday Punkin's camp was going on a field trip and they were all supposed to wear their camp shirts and Punkin's, once again, is a mite too big. After she got dressed, she came running out of her room with the excess shirt gathered in her hand behind her back.

"Mommy, you've got to get a hair bow and tie this up like this! That's what the big girls do."

I dutifully obliged. Then,

"And now Mommy, you need to get some ribbon and tie my sleeves up like this! That's how the big girls wear theirs."

You could have knocked me over with a feather, I was so surprised. She looked so cute! And it was all her idea. And fortunately, fortunately, this time I was prepared. I was the Mommy with the ribbon on hand. So, I learned two things at Bible school this year -- 1) never underestimate the importance of a little piece of ribbon and 2) quit worrying so much.

What A Difference A Day Makes!

And a nap! You wouldn't believe the angel child that greeted me last night. Punkin was pleasant with hardly a tantrum in sight. She was cracking jokes, making silly faces and doing silly voices that had the whole family cracking up. If I didn't know better I would swear she was a different child. Amazing.

BUT, I didn't intend on this blog becoming "all Punkin, all the time" so I'm going to share the love and talk about Bubba just a little.

Bubba is in the throes of the "all girls have cooties/no way would I like I girl/NO, I DO NOT HAVE A GIRLFRIEND" stage that most boys go through. The only girl that is accepted no questions asked is his beloved cousin Birdie. Bubba and Birdie have been inseparable since they were old enough to play together. While other cousins of the same gender as Bubba and Birdie have occasionally parted them, they generally wind up back together doing their "Stupid Country Cousins" routine, which is generally hilarious (and incidentally the only time I allow him to say stupid.)

Bubba did have a little girlfriend once, when he was about four. Her name was Rose and she had lovely, curly red hair. She was smart and feisty and I liked her. But somebody -- not me, I'm smarter than that -- teased Bubba about her and that was it for girlfriends. Or even girl friends -- that he will admit to, anyway.

So, when we were at the beach recently, I couldn't help but notice a little girl playing near us in the water. She kept placing herself in general proximity to Bubba and looking at me and smiling. She and Bubba looked to be about the same age, so I called Bubba over and said "Bubba, I'm pretty sure that little girl wants to play with you. Why don't you play with her?"

"Mommy! She's a GIRL!"

"So?! Just pretend she's Birdie!"

"I don't want to play with her!"

Finally, I took matters into my own hands and when she ran by me I asked her name. Her name was Hailey and she was camping with her grandparents. And I was right, she was seven, too. After that, it didn't take too long before we were all building a sandcastle together and then before too long, she and Bubba took off to ride their body boards together.

From then on Hailey was all I heard about. "Do you think Hailey will be at the beach when we get down there? Can Hailey come see our campsite? Can I ride my bike over to Hailey's campsite? Can Hailey and I ride our bikes around the loop?" Hailey, Hailey, Hailey.

On the last day, Bubba begged to ride his bike to Hailey's campsite to say goodbye. When he got back I couldn't resist and said "See, aren't you glad you played with Hailey after all?"

"Yeah," Bubba admitted. "It's just that I didn't think she would like to do stuff like I like to do, since she's a girl."

My tomboy and feminist feathers slightly ruffled, I replied somewhat indignantly, "Well, maybe from now on you should get to know someone before you start deciding what they might or might not like to do, right?"

"Yeah, I guess so. She was pretty cool."

So maybe, just maybe, girls don't have quite as many cooties as they used to. Hailey, wherever you are, thank you for being a cool girl.

Don't Worry, Be Happy

I'm posting today lest you all think I'm still mullygrubbing about. I had a good wallowing session yesterday (i.e., my blog post), followed by lunch with a good friend who's always known how to make me laugh, and finished off with the reading of my critique from the contest.

Y'all, I didn't hate it. In fact, I actually liked it and it made me feel pretty darn good about myself.

Here's part of what she said:

This is a very nice story! You do a particularly good job with characterization—your writing flows well. I really like the ending—the sister’s “sorry” can mean so many things she is sorry about. Great job! Thanks for sharing.

See? Not terrible. Now I will tell you that I didn't agree with one particular thing she said in another part of the critique, but neither did two other people who read it (thanks, Katie!), so I don't feel like I'm just ignoring her advice. Unfortunately, I can't see if you agree because my plan is for this little story to become the first chapter of my book and I'm not sure if it's a good idea to have that floating around on the internets. Right? I mean, what if I hit the big time and one of you tries to claim that this was your story and you wrote it first and then you'd sue me and I'd sue you and then we wouldn't be friends anymore and it just doesn't seem worth the hassle.

Anyway, I'm feeling a lot less Eeyore-ish today and am looking forward, wholeheartedly even, to the weekend. Thanks to AndreAnna's inspiration, I'm heading to the local farmer's market tomorrow to see what I can see. And eat.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

A New 'Do

So, do you notice anything different about me?

I've got a blog design, I've got a new blog design, I've got a new blog design!!

I owe special thanks to one Ms. Cass Comerford over at Cass. Just Curious. I gave her a couple of ideas, but she came up with this one all by herself and I loved it more than anything I had suggested.

I loved my old blog design -- I created that one all by myself -- but I felt like I needed something new. Sort of like spring cleaning.

Anyway, thanks again, Cass!! I LOVE IT!

What say you, my loyal subjects?

My Punkin'

Where were we? Oh yeah, D-Day.

To be honest, I can't remember now if we'd already had one therapy session with the child psychologist on the day that Punkin was removed from the class -- I think we had, but honestly, the whole experience is kind of a nightmarish blur.

It's funny, because when we made the appointment, I was just absolutely sure that a child psychologist was exactly what we needed. But at every appointment we went to, I started to feel kind of silly. Talking over everything that happened iwth the therapist made me and Mr. Daddy realize that Punkin's problem really wasn't all that severe after all. In reality, she is just a high spirited child who is still maturing. Sure, she's prone to tantrums, but I soon realized that it wasn't anything we couldn't handle.

I also wanted to put the school's new plan into place, which was to transfer her participation prize into a behavior prize. The same rules apply -- she picks out a prize upon arrival in the classroom and if she meets the goals set by the teachers for the day, then she gets to keep her prize. If she melts down and has a tantrum (and she was known to melt down over things as simple as being asked to wash her hands), she'd be sent to her time out spot. If she calmed down and came back and used her words, they would consider that a success. There are basically 15 opportunities during the day -- the times they change activities -- where she can earn a success sticker and her initial goal was to be successful in only 7, which the teachers felt was a reasonable goal. The first week she earned her prize every single day but had meltdowns twice on two different days. Still, that's only two meltdowns out of fifteen opportunities!

And I am absolutely thrilled to say that this week, she hasn't melted down at all!! When I did the drop off for Mr. Daddy the other morning, Punkin's teacher raved about how good she's been, how much she's participating and said that Punkin has even volunteered to do things in class, something that was absolutely unheard of before.

Did y'all hear that rushing sound? That was the sound of a gigantic weight being lifted from my shoulders. No longer do I dread the afternoon report -- well, that's not entirely true. I think we need to get a few weeks under my belt before I rest completely easy -- but boy have things improved.

Don't get me wrong, we still have some issues at home. I have a theory that she uses up all her "good" at school and once she gets home she just can't be that good anymore, but that's okay. We're working on it. And not only is she being better behaved, but she's opening up more about her day, sharing things with us that she wouldn't share before.

And it's like I've been given the gift of my Punkin all over again. She was lost for a little while, but now she's back. And I couldn't be happier.