But last night when I picked them up, I was resolved to make it a wonderful evening. I asked them if they had a good day and Bubba said "Yeah, except for this morning." I apologized for my irritation and vowed to do better.
Punkin had a great day. In her class they have a Green/Yellow/Red behavior system, but they also can move UP on the ladder to blue and purple and she had moved up to blue. She didn't know what she had done to get moved up, but I guess it really doesn't matter.
When we got home I asked if she wanted to help me make dinner. I thought this would be a great way for us to spend some time together, doing something fun. Well, fun-ish. She poured water for the rice, she used the can opener to open the beans and dumped them into the pot. We made corn muffins from a box (Shhhh! Don't tell my grandmother) and she cracked the egg and poured the milk. She stirred them and then I held the bowl while she spooned the batter into the muffin pan.
The whole dinner itself was delightful. Everyone ate their food with no complaints (somebody mark this date on a calendar!), nobody was fussed at for squirming or standing up. Everybody used their utensils properly. Over ice cream dessert we divided into Team Vanilla (me and Bubba) and Team Mint Chocolate Fudge chunk (Mr. Daddy and Punkin). The look of betrayal on Punkin's face when she realized that Mr. Daddy was in fact eating vanilla was priceless and sent us all into fits of giggles.
All in all, it was delightful. And stress free. And there was no yelling.
And boy did I need that.
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7 comments:
Yay! I'm glad.
Yahooo!
BTW, I'm finding with Alexis that when we do have a good night, I need to make sure that the next day I tell her "thank you" and kind of make a big deal out of how I appreciated the effort she made to have a good night. Those thank yous seem to go a lot farther than the time outs she gets on the nights when her mouth moves faster than her brain.
I find that you DO get the good day, just when you need it most. But, good for you for intentionally making it a good one!
I'm glad you all had a good day today, and really hope you get some more of those all in a row. I read the suggestions Mir gave you in your last post, and really like the direction they're going in. It really helps to have a good back up system with your spouse (a little fact I have to sometimes remind my own of from time to time when we find ourselves in situations because it can be incredibly soul crushing to think of oneself as 'the bad cop' every time something comes up, and sometimes, I'm most often 'the bad cop.')
I also like the removal of TV during school weeks. It can be an incredible distraction. I'm seriously considering taking away access to the iPods and such this school year. The boys have iPod Touches, but they don't have music loaded on them. They just use them for games and it makes me crazy when I see their faces plastered to them for far too long.
I know there's no perfect cure all, but I hope you find the mix of things that are going to work for your family. I personally like the idea of having ice cream! :)
Ditto Burgh Baby - I always make a point of saying thank you for the good days and my kids are 9 & 12. That goes so much further than any punishment I have ever doled out.
So glad you had such a good day!
And if that was Jiffy cornbread, I bet your Grandmother would totally approve. That stuff is GOOD!
I have to tell you that your last post had me nodding my head and agreeing with you. It sounds almost exactly like what we are dealing with in our Griffin. The constant pushback and arguing, the telling him AT LEAST 3 TIMES to do anything, the poor reports from school. It is frustrating and exhausting. We, too, are in the midst of having him tested for ADHD/ADD. In early May, I ran across a show in PBS called "ADD and Loving It." It was like they were describing my child to me. A real eye opener if you can google it. Anyway, that made me look at Griffin's behaviour in a whole new light. Not that it made it easier, but I felt that I understood him a little better and it gave me more empathy for what he is going through, too.
Now I'm on a serious learning curve. All I can say is consistency, consistency, consistency. We are also watching his diet, especially sugar. I'm trying to use as many schedules and systems as I can to keep things regular. I'm limiting TV and computer time. I swear those things change his brain chemistry, I swear it! And I'm trying to keep things as orderly as possible. I also know that I have to be his advocate in the classroom. I have found that a lot of the teachers that I would assume knew more about ADD than me do not really understand as much as I expected.
I'm also not against medication, but he hasn't been diagnosed yet, (hopefully we will be hearing back in the next couple of weeks.) so that is not on the table yet.
Myjobchart.com has been a real incentive in keeping him on track in the mornings. He loves it. I'd recommend it.
Mostly, I'll just say to keep on keeping on. Follow your gut. And know that you are not alone. We're in the trenches! xoxo
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