Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Indecision, Much Like Indigestion, Is Painful

So, again, I'm not dead. Only my creativity. And maybe it's still there?

I'm just not sure what's wrong with me. Well, at least when it comes to writing. Lately, I've just felt paralyzed. It's almost as if every time I even think about writing, my brain just shuts down, like I don't even want to TRY to think of something to write. Except that's not even explaining it properly. I'm not sure I can explain it.

And this is doubly weird because I recently received some very good news in regard to my writing. On a whim I entered a flash fiction contest and late last week I received an email that said that my entry had made it past the first round of judging, beating out at least 200 other submissions! What I submitted is actually what I hope will be the prologue or the first chapter of a book I want to write.

So, great news, right? Right? And you would think that I would have taken the adrenaline rush I got when I read the notification email and run with it and wrote at least 1,000 words, right?

Well, you'd be wrong. I haven't written a stinking word since then.

I don't know if it's fear that's holding me back or what. Am I afraid of the work? Failure? Success?

Today my friend Esme gave me some advice, advice she originally got from Mir: there's no such thing as writer's block, only writer's indecision. It's sort of like staring at a buffet and not being sure what to try first.

So, today I'm jumping back in with both feet. I'm putting words on the page in hopes that more words will follow.

5 comments:

Katie said...

My high school teacher called it "free writing." He made us start each class with 5 minutes of it. When you don't feel any pressure and you get the habit of writing *something*, sooner or later it gets a bit more organized. I feel that same way some nights when I blog...and I think it's because I have such high hopes. So my advice would be - don't think, just write. I promise, you could post your grocery list and we'll read it if that's what you post. The words don't even have to go together. Don't even write at first - just type.

Lauren said...

Congrats on the contest!!! If I was in high school I'd be all, "ITS A SIGN!!!" (bc Ace of Base was HUGE when I was in high school). I digress-the point is...I sense good things for your book :)
Sometimes when I don't want to write it's because I feel guilty about not having written in so long and afraid that since I HAVE waited so long that no one will care anymore. But eventually I just have to write something, anything, even if it's total word vomit...just to get back in the game. Hang in there and KEEP WRITING! Your loyal fans await...

Esme said...

Yay! And look! You wrote... and we're reading!

Looking forward to the words that follow...

Leslie said...

Here is a little encouragement! We're so proud of you!

Tara said...

I think your writing will grow as your children do...it's a hard time of life right now with little ones and full time jobs and LIVES! Maybe just writing for 10 minutes a day is all you should shoot for right now. You're awesome!!